


As It Was

by WarlordFelwinter



Series: Destiny / Iron Lords [9]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Healing, M/M, Trauma, archive warnings may change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27250453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlordFelwinter/pseuds/WarlordFelwinter
Summary: More self-indulgent Fel/Timur fic from yours truly~Multi-chapter, not planned as much as No Kingdom to Come so we'll see how it goes. I just want them to be happy is that so much to ask??Post Red War, pre Season of the Worthy AU
Relationships: Lord Felwinter/Lord Timur
Series: Destiny / Iron Lords [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/883632
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to CoffeeCats for the computer jargon

_// attempting initialization…_

_// data integrity confirmed_

_// internal sensor integrity confirmed_

_// internal systems optimal_

_// establishing external sensors…_

_// external sensors established… audio input detected…_

"Why is it taking so long? Is everything all right?"

"He's been dead for a long time. Exos can't bounce back from that as quickly as a human. Give him time."

_// external systems optimal_

_// attempting boot_

**> > ** **_CONSUME <<_ **

_// ERROR_

"What was that?"

"Encountered an exception… oh."

_// THREAT DETECTED_

** > ** _quarantine Y/N_

 ** > ** _Y__

 ** > ** _quarantine failed_

_// boot failed_

** > ** _external override_

_// override accepted_

_// attempting boot_

"He won't thank me for this… he won't thank _you_ , either."

_// system boot in 3.. 2.. 1.._

Felwinter opened his eyes slowly, taking a moment to allow his optical sensors to adjust to the bright light. A shadow flitted in front of it and he focused on a familiar shape.

"Welcome back," she said softly. "Do you remember me?"

"Felspring," he said, wondering what he had done to need to be ressurected. Everything felt… fuzzy. Stiff. Almost like it had when he had been risen by her the first time. He had been dead a long time. He sat up, tilting his head to either side to loosen stiffened joints.

He looked past Felspring and saw a human woman, no one he recognized, and beyond her a monitor with a familiar orange, spiderwebbing light dancing across it in patterns that Felwinter could almost decipher.

And at that light, everything came rushing back.

Felwinter felt his lights flare up before he shut them all off. Felspring disappeared, materializing his helmet around his head and his shotgun in his hand as he got off the table. He pointed the gun briefly at the woman, who raised her hands. She opened her mouth to speak and he angled his weapon, firing at two of the monitors behind her, shattering the glass. He backed toward the door and blinked through it, turning and breaking into a run down a long hallway.

_Where are we?_

_[ Mars, I think. ]_ Felspring sounded uncertain. _[ I've got a map of the facility, here's your path to the surface. There's a jumpship in orbit, give me a moment to connect. ]_

A map superimposed itself over his vision, pathways leading him through doors and chambers, out onto a landing pad under an unfamiliar sky. Felwinter looked around, remaining tense, ready for attack, shutting down every whisper in his mind that wondered how he had gotten here. There would be time for that later.

_How much longer?_

_[ Security's tighter than I expected. ]_

The door behind him opened and he turned, racking his shotgun and aiming it at the human woman as she came trotting outside. She raised her hands peaceably with an odd smile.

"Let me get that jumpship for you," she said, tapping on a tablet in her hand. "Give it a minute or so and you can take it back to the City. I'd appreciate if you sent it back afterward, but you can keep it if you really want it." She held out a cautious hand. "Not exactly how I imagined this going, but regardless, it's nice to meet you Lord Felwinter. I'm Ana Bray."

Felwinter tilted his head and holstered his gun. "Bray… Even in death I cannot escape the echoes of your family."

She pulled her hand back as he didn't shake it. "So it would seem, although this time there was a good intention behind it, I think."

"You _think_?"

She hiked a thumb over her shoulder, back toward the facility. "He's… sorry, I think. For what he did. He's trying to make it right. Asked me to go to Site 6 and get you and your Ghost. Normally it might've been a bit harder to get Light back into a Ghost, but now that the Traveler's awake, it was just a matter of fixing the part of her that holds it. That was SIVA's job. The Traveler did the rest."

Felwinter felt Felspring's surprise at that. He resisted her urge for clarification, there would be time later. At the moment, they were still in danger. Still too close.

"It's good," Felwinter decided after a moment of thought. "Good that he can feel guilt. I hope he rots in it," he said, without intonation.

Ana looked away, saddened. "I can't imagine what… what you went through, but… he really does seem to regret it. He wanted to do right by you, that's why he brought your Ghost back. He's letting you go."

"Too little, too late," Felwinter replied, looking up at the glint of a ship in the sky. Felspring connected to it and they transmatted aboard without another word.

Felspring appeared next to him in the cockpit as he piloted out of orbit, hand hesitating over the coordinates. "To the City?" she asked.

Felwinter thought for a moment about being surrounded by people, about answering questions from the Vanguard about how he had come back, questions he didn't have answers to. He thought about the SIVA crawling over Felspring's shell and the whispers he could hear in the back of his mind.

He tapped in a few coordinates, shaking his head.

"To Felwinter Peak."

* * *

Efrideet tapped her fingers on the wall as she walked down the hallway, footsteps echoing far too loudly. The Temple was empty more than not these days. Only a few remained. Most of the Iron Lords had returned to the City to help in the aftermath of the Red War. So much had happened in what felt like such a short time. Perhaps they'd just forgotten to come back.

Sometimes, she wanted to leave again. There was nothing here but memory. She had left them behind before, why was it so much harder when they were dead?

So she found herself making the rounds, taking care of the Temple while Saladin was in the City, trying to wrangle rowdy Guardians into fighting shape. He enjoyed the Iron Banner, she thought, despite putting her in charge of it for a while. That hadn't lasted long. She didn't mind, watching Guardians fight one another wasn't exactly her favorite pasttime.

She entered the main hall, what had once been a gathering place and was now a memorial. They were beautiful statues, but she wondered how much they trapped Saladin in his own memories.

Efrideet laughed quietly. "Not that I can talk," she said, brushing the dust off Perun's feet. "I could leave, but here I am, talking to ghosts."

She moved to Gheleon, stepping back to frown up at him. "Mm… not raggedy enough," she decided. "You never did let me make you a new cloak."

She moved back and went to the firepit in the middle of the room, stoking the blaze and adding more wood. Saladin had admitted to leaving this place dark and cold. If there were going to be ghosts here, they should at least be warm, she thought.

The light of the fire mingled with the late sunshine coming through the door, splashing up onto the statues, almost giving them movement. A shadow fell upon them, blocking the sunshine. Efrideet didn't turn immediately, imagining it was some Guardian coming to pay their respects. It didn't happen often, but it happened. Until the shape of the shadowed helmet caught her attention. She looked up to Felwinter's statue and then turned, eyes widening as she saw familiar robes.

The figure took off his helmet and eyes backlit by orange met her gaze, wide, running lights suggesting the same astonishment and disbelief as she felt.

"Efrideet?" he asked softly and her heart broke at that voice, a voice she hadn't heard in years upon years.

"Felwinter," she breathed, running to him and pulling him into a hug, lifting him off his feet. She placed him back on his feet and moved to step back, knowing the exo liked his personal space. Unexpectedly, Felwinter returned the embrace, holding her tightly.

Efrideet let out a breathy laugh that crystallized in the air, tucking her face down against the fur mantle of his robes, aware of the tears on her cheeks. She had a thousand questions and a thousand doubts and all of them were overridden by joy.

"Welcome back."


	2. Chapter 2

"Explain yourself."

Felwinter didn't look at Efrideet, more focused on his own hand. Between the joints, he could see it—hints of red, pulsing with a heartbeat that was not his own. It was good at pretending to be what it wasn't. It was alive, connecting parts of him that it had previously torn apart. It wasn't as obvious on him as it was on Felspring, but he could feel it all the same. Whispering… waiting… he felt if he tried… perhaps he could—

Efrideet kicked him and he looked up to find both her and Saladin looking at him expectantly. She had called Saladin back from the City only a short time ago and they stood outside the Temple. Felwinter couldn't quite stomach the statues inside.

He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. "Felspring knows more than I do."

Felspring shifted her shell. "Rasputin," she said. "And… the Bray. Ana? According to her, Rasputin had her pull us from Site 6 and he redirected SIVA to repair what it had destroyed, enough to channel the Traveler's Light back into me and I was able to resurrect Felwinter. We… didn't really stick around to hear an explanation of the finer points."

Saladin frowned. "Why would it do that?" he asked. "If the Warmind was what killed all of you in the first place, why change its mind now?"

"Apparently he's grown sentimental in his old age," Felspring said, sarcasm clear in her tone. "I guess he felt bad about spending centuries hunting us and then killing all of our friends."

Efrideet snorted. "Better late than never, I guess."

Felwinter looked out across the plaza toward the observatory. His mind flickered back to the night before their mistake, to the soft warmth he had shared with Timur, their ignorant optimism that they were about to save the world. He closed his eyes briefly, dismissing the memory, and thought about the statues inside.

"They're still inside," he said, feeling his running lights brighten a bit in anger as he looked at Saladin. "How many times has Site 6 been opened, and they're still inside."

While they had waited for Saladin to arrive, Efrideet had given him the short version on everything he'd missed. He knew Site 6 had been infiltrated again. The Guardians who had gone in had reported fighting SIVA puppeted versions of the corpses left inside. Gheleon, Jolder, Felwinter himself…

Saladin met his anger with sadness, inclining his head. "If there were a way to give them a proper burial without risking SIVA getting out, I would have. Believe me."

Felwinter's anger faded and he nodded. "Of course. Forgive me." He shifted. "If you'll excuse me, I think I need some time alone."

He walked past them, heading down the stairs toward the bridge to the observatory. After a few moments, Efrideet caught up with him.

"I'm about to head out on patrol anyway, I'll walk with you," she said.

He glanced at her. "I think I remember where my room is, unless you've renovated my observatory."

She smiled. "Nah, we haven't touched it. The hall in the Temple is the only change. Should be just as you left it."

Efrideet walked with him the rest of the way to the observatory, pausing outside the door as he unlocked it. He was relieved that it still recognized him.

"Saladin and I..." Efrideet said, and faltered. She huffed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We've both been where you are now. If you need anything..."

Felwinter inclined his head. "Thank you, Efrideet," he said. She smiled and stepped back, heading off with a friendly wave, continuing on her way to the gondola.

Felwinter went inside and closed the door. Lights flickered on as he stepped into his old throne room, clearly not having turned on in years. He paused a moment, looking at the throne, unable to resist a small pulse of amusement. It was still here.

He moved on, heading down the hall, hesitating only briefly at the door to his old room before walking to the next. He reached for the handle and faltered. He closed his eyes reminding himself he wasn't going to find Timur behind the door, and opened it.

As Efrideet had said, nothing had been touched. It was exactly as they had left it so many years ago, the only difference being a fine layer of dust that had fallen across all of Timur's books, the monitors on his desk, all of the strange collectibles he had brought back from their trips. The bed was unmade, blankets thrown aside as Timur had practically sprang out of bed, bristling with excitement for Site 6 and what world-changing things they might find inside.

Felwinter brushed his hand across a stack of books, sending a cloud of dust into the air, mind flashing back to a dark room lit by red, holding Timur close to his side as they waited for Jolder to place the charges, feeling his heartbeat struggle as SIVA infected his bloodstream, breath catching around the blood in his throat.

"Felwinter."

He startled slightly, coming back to the room. Felspring was in front of him and he could feel her concern. His fans were running, jaw open slightly to allow more airflow as his systems fought against overheating.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Fine," Felwinter lied and immediately felt her annoyance. "I'm sure it's just… aftershocks. I've been dead a long time and..." He looked down at his hand, flexing fingers that weren't his, watching the red light between his joints shift.

"Right," Felspring said. "Maybe you should try to get some sleep, let everything settle."

Sleeping sounded like the last thing Felwinter wanted to do at the moment, but Felspring had a point. He hadn't given himself a moment to adjust since he'd woken up on Mars. Shutting down would help. He closed the door and walked over to the bed. He laid down, shifting to put his back against the wall. Something felt wrong about sleeping here without Timur, but he pushed the feeling away and closed his eyes.

* * *

Felwinter opened his eyes and found himself in a field.

He had been here before, he thought, but it was different. There was no tower in the distance, no goal he felt he had to reach. No one stood in his way, weapons bared. He was alone, standing in a golden field. The sun was low, a warm, late afternoon glow, but he could see stars in the sky and flickers of color arcing around them.

He couldn't feel Felspring and, as he looked down, he found he only had one arm. SIVA was gone. He was well and truly alone.

And then he felt something in his hand. He turned, not as startled as he should have been, and saw Timur standing next to him. He squeezed Felwinter's hand slightly and smiled at him, golden eyes sparkling in the warm light.

"Hey," he said.

Felwinter stared at him and then let go of his hand, shifting his arm to grab Timur and pull him into a hug. Timur returned it with a quiet laugh.

"It's all right," he murmured. "I'm here."

"No you're not," Felwinter said, stepping back and offering his hand for Timur to hold it again.

Timur rolled his eyes, taking his hand. "If you want to be like that."

"This is a dream."

"So?"

"So it's not real. You're dead. This is just some figment of my subconscious."

Timur lifted his other hand to Felwinter's face, fingers tracing hard lines. Felwinter tilted his head slightly into the touch.

"And if it is?"

It wasn't fair, he thought, how real that hand felt. Warm and soft. Timur looked every bit as real, every bit as wild and dangerous and beautiful, as he remembered. His hair was down, out of its usual braid, shifting slightly in the breeze. He smiled slyly, gaze almost triumphant as he guessed he had won Felwinter over.

He leaned in and kissed him. Felwinter closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he found himself laying on his back. The sun had gone down, leaving just the stars and the aurora. For a moment, he was disoriented, and reminded himself it was a dream. Timur lay next to him, drawing shapes between the stars above them.

"This is your fault," he said, after a moment.

Timur laughed quietly. "SIVA?"

"Mm."

"I guess so. Do you forgive me?"

Felwinter thought about that for a moment. "No," he decided. He couldn't. Not when Timur had led him to all of this, not when he had died in his arms, not when Felwinter was alone again. His lights flickered in annoyance. He had spent so long alone with Felspring on that mountain, how had Timur so effectively destroyed him?

Timur shifted, laying on Felwinter's chest. "Do you love me?"

Felwinter looked down at him. "Yes."

Timur smiled. "I love you too."

"You're dead."

"Yeah."

The light shifted and Felwinter didn't notice, lost in Timur's golden gaze until it stopped sparkling. Then he looked up and saw the stars had vanished, replaced by a charred ceiling, overgrown with pulsing red sinew. Panic sparked in his chest and he looked back down at Timur. SIVA crept around his throat, red veins pushing under his skin as he grabbed Felwinter's face with a hand, almost desperate, leaning close.

"Come find me," he hissed, a heartbeat before he was torn away, a pained, scared scream cut off, blood splattering across Felwinter's robes. Felwinter tried to grab him, too late, shouting. _Not again, not again, not again—_

And then he woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Welcome, welcome, welcome, Guardians, to today's first Iron Banner match—"

Efrideet leaned forward as she spoke into the microphone, pitching her voice low and flooding it with gravitas. On the screens in front of her, various angles of a Crucible arena were shown. Felwinter stood next to her in the monitoring stage, still not entirely sure how she'd convinced him to be here. She had suggested a tour of the new Tower and the City, to refamiliarize him with everything. If it hadn't been for Felspring wanting to see the Traveler up close, he would have stayed at Felwinter Peak.

"Despite my flawless impression, some eagle-eared Guardians may have noticed you aren't being watched by Saladin today. Which means you'll have to step it up! Because helping me judge your skill today is none other than Lord Felwinter, yes _that_ Lord Felwinter. You've all heard the stories, you know he'll expect perfection. Now get to it!"

As the match started, Efrideet kept her gaze on the monitors, but she flashed a charming smile Felwinter's way.

"At least pretend you're having fun," she said. "That's what I do."

"You do seem… cheery," Felwinter commented, watching a Hunter deftly dodge a strike from a Titan and vanish from sight.

She smiled. "It's why they like me better than Saladin, but don't tell him that." She winked and leaned forward. "Crafty move, Hunter, you'd give Gheleon a run for his money, but I'd keep an eye on that Warlock if I were you."

Stepping back again, she sighed. "Doesn't it feel strange?" she asked softly.

Felwinter watched the monitor. "What? Seeing Guardians play at what used to be our life and death?" he asked.

Efrideet huffed a laugh. "Kind of. I meant… being a relic. I wasn't kidding, they all have heard stories about you, but… that's all we are to most of these Guardians. Stories. Something to replace the Crucible once in a while. A few joined after the Young Wolf and the second SIVA crisis, but…"

Felwinter didn't reply. She was right, he thought. He had felt it as she had shown him around the Tower, reintroducing him to the Vanguard. The City was unrecognizeable. Even without the destruction and rebuilding, it had grown and changed so much since he had last been here. He felt out of place. Out of time. _Relic_.

The Iron Lords had served their purpose, and they should have been left to rest.

On the monitor, he watched a Warlock duck around a corner, pressing herself against the wall, pausing to listen to gunfire across the arena. Behind her, a Hunter from the other team had drawn their knife.

Felwinter leaned forward, flicking a switch to speak directly to the Warlock.

"Warlock, don't move," he said, watching her tense. "Behind you. But wait. When I say so, blink backward, and fire."

She didn't move, letting the Hunter get closer.

"Blink. Now," Felwinter said.

Without looking, the Warlock shoved herself backward, blinking through the Hunter and firing, taking them out. He could hear her laugh over the monitor as she ran off and the Hunter's Ghost came out.

Efrideet took the mic back. "Well, well, seems our guest is inspiring some dirty tricks. Better step up your game, Guardians. Watch out for knee-strikes," she said, speaking to the entire arena, before angling a glance at Felwinter. "Cheater."

Felwinter huffed, flicking lights up into his cheeks in a smile.

* * *

"You've been avoiding me."

Felwinter opened his eyes, briefly blinded by the bright light of the sun. He stood in a golden field. As his sensors adjusted, he found a familiar specter standing in front of him. Despite his accusatory tone, Timur didn't look angry.

"Not you," Felwinter lied.

"Sleep, then," Timur said, lacing his fingers together with Felwinter's.

"I don't need sleep."

"Not often, but you do," Timur said. "It's been a few days, hasn't it?"

Felwinter tilted his head slightly. "You would know. You're me, after all."

Timur rolled his eyes. "One hundred and forty three hours, seventeen minutes, fifty one seconds and counting. Does it mean any less coming from your own mind?"

"No," Felwinter said. "It merely proves a point."

"That you haven't come to find me?" Timur asked.

Felwinter started to walk, wondering how far this field stretched. He could see mountains in the distance. He didn't let go of Timur's hand and they walked together in silence for a while as he tried to think. Timur—or whatever part of Felwinter's conscience this was—was right. He had been avoiding sleep specifically to avoid another of these dreams. Felspring had practically forced him to shut down after he had nearly shot Saladin, mistaking him for some SIVA infected ghoul.

"Are you happy?" Timur asked.

"Broad question," Felwinter replied. "More… lost. Efrideet's right. We don't belong here anymore."

"I don't think that's true," Timur said softly. "You're alive—"

"Not by my choice."

Timur laughed. "You could always come back and join me," he said. "I miss you."

"You're dead," Felwinter said, looking at him.

"We've already established that I'm you," Timur said. "So I guess you miss _me_."

"Of course I do."

Timur stopped, tugging Felwinter to face him. "Then why haven't you come to find me?" he asked. "You need to, you know you do. You have to be certain. You have to _see_."

"I'm… afraid," Felwinter said. As he said it, the light flickered. The sun went out and the field vanished, replaced by burned ground, littered with familiar bodies. SIVA crawled over them, slowly consuming. Red tendrils crept up Timur's face as he smiled, gently.

"I know," he said softly, voice distorted ever so slightly. "I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer."

* * *

When morning came, Efrideet found Felwinter kneeling in front of Timur's statue in the Iron Temple. His head was down, hands folded in his lap, running lights dim as he was lost in contemplation.

She sat down next to him, leaning back against the foot of the statue. "You doing all right?" she asked quietly

Felwinter didn't reply for a moment, listening to the crackling of the fire in the braziers. He shifted, lights coming up a bit, and looked at her.

"No."

She smiled sadly. "I didn't think so. You've been avoiding it since you woke up," she said, knocking a knuckle lightly against the base of the statue behind her.

He looked up, tilting his head back to watch flickering light on metal. The statue was a good likeness of Timur's armor, but nothing so still and carven could capture him perfectly. Timur existed in movement. To see him like this was wrong and Felwinter knew that a still, unmoving body was all that awaited him in Site 6. To see him like that would be wrong, too.

"This place..." he began, looking away, and then faltered, not sure where to start.

"I know how you feel," Efrideet murmured. "It's good to remember them, but we shouldn't keep grieving them. Seeing this place without them here..." She sighed. "I've been thinking about leaving, again. I want you to come with me."

Felwinter looked at her, surprised. "Where?"

"There's a colony in the outer solar system. It's… where I went before. They're lightbearers, but… they've turned their back on the violence the rest of us seem to find inevitable. They taught me a lot. Almost as much of a family to me as you and Saladin are." She paused. "You've been through so much, Felwinter. You deserve peace."

It was… tempting. Running had always been tempting to him.

"I'll… think about it," he said.

Efrideet smiled. "Take your time, I still need to figure out how to tell Saladin. I keep telling him to come with me, but he'll never leave this place," she said, sadly. "But I don't think you deserved to be trapped by his ghosts."

She stood up, patting Felwinter on the shoulder as she left. Felwinter didn't move. Efrideet wasn't quite right. He was trapped here by his own ghosts, not Saladin's. He wanted to leave, to run from these memories, but he couldn't. Not until he saw for himself. Not until he was certain.


	4. Chapter 4

Felwinter stood in front of a tomb.

It didn't appear as such. From the outside it was just the door to a bunker, similar to countless others he had broken into in the past. But he knew what lay inside. It was marked by the memorial in the snow above him. A sword thrust into the ground, a red scrap of cloth fluttering in the wind.

 _This is not a place of honor_.

A reminder. Turn around. Don't go inside. Don't disturb what slumbers here. Let them rest.

It had hit him harder than he'd expected and he had walked past it, going inside, down and down, deep under the frozen earth of the Plaguelands as they were now called. This area of the Cosmodrome still scarred by the second SIVA crisis. He had seen some of the splicers on his way in, but they had avoided him.

He had made it to the outer door and couldn't bring himself to keep going. He stood, staring at the closed door, listening to the lack of sound around him.

"We don't have to go in," Felspring said, appearing next to him.

He wondered how long it would take for Efrideet and Saladin to realize he was gone. Would they look for him? Would they assume he came here, or would they assume he had simply left? Unable to face the present reality of the world. It was tempting to run, as it had been so long ago, tempting to follow Efrideet to the edge of the solar system. He didn't belong in this world anymore.

But not yet.

He stepped forward and laid his hand on the access pad. Warmind access credentials flickered across it and the door opened. He had to know.

 _"Come find me_. _"_

"It was a dream," Felspring murmured, following him into the hall. Here the damage began to be evident. Charred formless masses where SIVA had crept out and been sealed away again by the Young Wolf.

At the first sign of flickering red, Felspring vanished. It was a weak light, attempting to repair itself. Felwinter felt it acknowledge his presence, connecting to what lived inside him. It felt… expectant. It was waiting. For what, he was afraid to find out. He passed it by and reached the second door, sealed twice and broken open again more recently. It opened at a touch and he faltered in the doorway.

Weak, struggling lights flickered on as the door opened, dimly illuminating a viscerally familiar chamber.

Felwinter drew his shotgun as he entered, systems flooded with fear and confusion as the room shifted around him. SIVA was alive, lashing out at the others around him. Gunfire and screams filled the chamber, the air filled with smoke and buzzing red nanites. Jolder grabbed him, pulling him out of the way of the tendrils that tried to grab him from behind. She slammed her ax down on them and stumbled. Red crept across her armor, she had lost her helmet somewhere—

"Felwinter!"

Felwinter racked his gun, pointing it at the voice before he realized it was Felspring.

"Whoa, hey," she said, alarmed. "Calm down."

Felwinter lowered his gun, confused. He looked around. The room was empty. Motionless. Silent. Errors blinked in his vision, alerting him to his systems overheating. He parted his jaw slightly, allowing more airflow, and Felspring vanished, resettling herself in the relative safety of his mind. He reholstered his gun and began to explore as his vitals returned to normal.

As he walked further into the dark chamber, Felwinter began to notice something odd.

_[ There aren't any bodies. ]_

"Saladin said they were left here," Felwinter murmured.

_[ They can't have just walked off. ]_

Felwinter wasn't so sure about that, after what he had heard about the Young Wolf's journey down here. Perhaps they had gotten up and wandered off, after Ana Bray left the door open. He walked to a corner of the room he remembered in visceral detail, and his foot knocked into something metal on the floor.

Felwinter looked down, expecting debris, and instead saw his own arm. The one SIVA had ripped off last he'd been here. Unconsciously, the fingers on his new hand clenched. He looked up, seeing a vague outline in the charring on the wall. The only sign to indicate it was where he and Timur had died. He had gone first, he remembered seeing Timur's terrified expression watching his lights turn red. He hoped Timur had died before the bombs had gone off.

Felwinter crouched, inspecting the ash on the floor. Drag marks, footprints. It was hard to tell if they were from Ana or not.

And then something behind him moved.

Felwinter stood and spun, readying his shotgun and aiming it at an empty room. He looked up at another soft noise and saw the SIVA on the ceiling moving. Shifting. The dim red light beating in it grew stronger as it woke, registering his presence. But it felt wrong.

Felwinter could hear the echoes of it in his mind, connecting to the SIVA in his body as that in the hallway had done. But SIVA he had felt before was not quite mindless, not quite conscious. This room had motive. It had control.

As he watched, it shuddered and flickers of blue raced along the red tendrils. Felwinter tensed, shifting backward a step as it opened, dropping a body. It was caught before it hit the floor, held by twisting vines of dull red. The body lifted, jerking and unnatural, to its feet. Bones cracked as puppet strings tightened, pulling limbs in inhuman ways.

Felwinter stepped back again, dread settling in him as he began to recognize the silhouette. The head snapped toward him, eyes glowing dimly red. As the SIVA around the room all awoke, the pulsing red light brightened, and Felwinter saw him clearly.

"Timur..."

The figure didn't move, no recognition in his eyes as he looked at Felwinter. His gaze was dull, unseeing. SIVA held him a few inches off the floor. It infected his armor, tendrils digging into his flesh, worming their way under his skin, pulsing with a heartbeat that was not his own.

Slowly, Felwinter lowered his gun, stepping closer. One step and then another. Timur, or whatever had co-opted his body, watched him, remaining inhumanly still. It was wrong, Felwinter thought. Not a corpse, exactly, but it wasn't Timur. Too still. Too quiet.

"Timur," Felwinter said again, wondering if any shred of the Warlock remained.

Timur cocked his head, the movement a little too sudden. Ribbons of blue light pulsed through the SIVA holding him again and Felwinter followed the light with his eyes, confused.

"Fel...win...ter..." Timur said slowly, voice distorted, syllables clawing their way out of his throat. Another beat of blue light followed, scattering along the tendrils like lightning.

_Lightning..._

_Timur yanked his helmet off, spitting out blood. He grabbed his pendant, throwing out a hand as the tendrils came again, his Light still crackling around him—_

Felwinter returned his gaze to Timur, looking to his chest rather than his face. Beneath the veins wrapping up, around his neck, Felwinter could see his pendant. A simple, brass triskelion. There was nothing special about it, as Timur had told him many times, it served only as a focus for him to solidify his will, turning it into a weapon against his enemies. A unique talent Felwinter had never seen in another lightbearer.

 _[ Felwinter. ]_ Felspring's voice sounded tight, not afraid exactly, but horrified. His vision shifted as she put an overlay onto it. He could see wisps of something seeping out between the cords of SIVA. A gentle glow in the center of Timur's chest, a white light that followed the dancing blue as it scattered down the veins.

_[ There's still Light here. His Ghost is alive. ]_

Felwinter fell back a step, feeling cold. Timur's Ghost was alive, safe inside the neural pathways of his Guardian, which could only mean that SIVA hadn't fully infiltrated Timur's body. The entire time he had been here in this room and it hadn't managed to overtake him. The blue light scattered again.

"You're alive," Felwinter said quietly, stepping closer to Timur. That dull gaze, backlit by red, tracked him too slowly, disinterested. The very last vestiges of Timur's will were keeping SIVA away from his Ghost. He had given every other part of himself up, letting himself be consumed in order to protect him.

_"I've waited this long."_

Felwinter lifted a hand, placing it against Timur's cheek. The SIVA in his hand reacted, latching onto that which was in Timur and waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what?

 _Directive_ , Felwinter realized. The Warmind controlled SIVA and Felwinter was born of the Warmind. He closed his eyes and focused. He felt it as the SIVA in his arm gave up its illusion of exo plating, giving him full control of the nano machines contained within. As he attempted to force his control over the SIVA that held Timur, he felt that beating get faster. A familiar wall of will slammed into him, trying to push him out.

He opened his eyes. "Timur, if you can hear me, you need to let go."

Instinct fought against him, an unconscious part of Timur desperately trying to wrest control of SIVA. Felwinter hesitated. Whatever was left of Timur wasn't going to listen to reason. He leaned in, taking his helmet off to push his forehead against Timur's.

"I'm sorry," he said, leaning back and putting his helmet back on. He grabbed a few of the tendrils holding Timur to the ceiling with his other hand, digging deep into the Warmind code at the center of his being, asserting his control over SIVA. He felt Timur trying to hold out against him as his body convulsed. Felwinter steeled himself and dug deeper, shattering through Timur's will and claiming control over SIVA. He felt its urge to consume, to find and devour the Light inside Timur.

 _Release_ , Felwinter ordered, and SIVA let Timur go. Felwinter caught him as he fell, his arm returning to its illusion as he nudged the SIVA to go back to sleep.

He knelt, lowering Timur so he could look him over. What was holding him aloft had released him, but SIVA still marred his armor and flesh, so woven into him at this point that Felwinter doubted it could be removed easily. Felspring scanned him through Felwinter's touch, identifying organs and bones and nerves that SIVA had meshed into. Messy, but keeping him alive while his Ghost couldn't.

 _Clever_ , Felwinter realized sadly. SIVA wouldn't have done that on its own. Timur had tricked SIVA into repairing what it had eaten.

Felwinter picked Timur up, holding him close as he walked toward the door. He paused, glancing back at the dormant SIVA, presumably hiding the bodies of the other Iron Lords.

"I'll be back for the rest of you," he said quietly. "I promise." He stepped outside and placed a hand on the pad, sealing the tomb again.

Felwinter walked down the long hall, closing the outer door and heading upward, back toward the Plaguelands. Underneath his hand, he focused on the unsteady beating of Timur's heart, a weak sign of life.

He was so focused on it that when he exited into the snow, he didn't notice the splicers until Felspring warned him. He ducked just as a shot rang out, barely missing him. He crouched, hunkering around Timur and drawing his gun. He fired, taking out the closest, and then another shot rang out, this time from further away. One of the splicers fell, spinning with the impact of a sniper round.

Felwinter summoned a handful of void, tossing it at the nearest fallen. He heard more fighting happening and just ducked his head, focusing on keeping Timur covered while Saladin and Efrideet handled the splicers.

Eventually, there was silence, followed by footsteps in the snow.

"So, I guess you were just humoring me, hm?" Efrideet asked, voice tight.

Felwinter didn't reply, gently gathering Timur back into his arms and standing up. He looked at Efrideet, who crossed her arms.

"So much for letting them rest," she snapped. "What were you _thinking_ , what if SIVA—?"

"Efrideet," Saladin interrupted. He had taken his helmet off and his gaze was fixed on Timur, eyes wide. Efrideet followed his gaze, tensing at the weak exhale, crystallizing in the frigid air.

"Oh," she said softly.

Felwinter tightened his hold on Timur. "Felspring. Jumpship, now."

They transmatted back to the ship and Felspring put in the coordinates for Felwinter Peak. In the hold, Felwinter laid Timur down.

"Coyote, can you hear me?" he asked.

After a moment's hesitation, a Ghost appeared. He looked around, shell drooping slightly in relief. He looked at Felwinter and zipped over, pushing his shell into Felwinter's mantle.

"Thank the Traveler."

Felwinter put a hand on his shell. "You're safe. Can you help him?"

Coyote backed up and looked down at his Guardian, quickly scanning him. "Oh… I didn't realize how much..." the Ghost's voice faltered, breaking slightly, before he shook his shell and Light flashed. Timur was left, SIVA still visible, but his breathing had steadied and deepened. Felwinter felt his pulse and found it strong.

"I can't… get rid of it but it seems to be dormant," Coyote said.

Felwinter placed a hand on Timur's cheek, lightly, feeling the SIVA within him. He thought he could remove it, given time. Practice. Perhaps on himself before Timur so he didn't accidentally hurt him.

Timur shifted, eyes opening slowly. The red glow was gone, leaving a tired gold. He seemed to struggle to focus on Felwinter and when he did, his eyes widened slightly. He made a quiet noise, trying to move. His face contorted in pain and he dropped back onto the floor.

"Easy," Felwinter murmured, ducking over him, pushing the side of his face against Timur's and feeling a weak smile as Timur managed to get a hand on the back of Felwinter's neck, holding him closer. "You're safe."


	5. Chapter 5

Something was wrong.

Timur was awake, an improvement over how he had been the previous day. His vitals were normal. The SIVA in his body was causing him some pain, if his expressions were anything to judge by, but his Ghost could confirm it wasn't interfering with his mind.

And yet, something was… wrong.

Timur was still. Quiet. He was sitting in bed, leaning against the wall, wrapped in a blanket. His gaze was distant and unfocused, devoid of its usual sparkle. Felwinter sat at the end of the bed, practicing his control over SIVA. It was shaky, at best, nowhere near refined enough for him to feel safe using it on Timur.

Timur exhaled audibly, shifting, and Felwinter looked at him. He tucked his blanket more securely around his shoulders, face contorting in pain as he moved.

"How do you feel?" Felwinter asked.

Timur didn't reply. He hadn't spoken since Felwinter had pulled him from the tomb. Coyote assured Felwinter his lungs and throat were perfectly functioning, he clearly just didn't feel like talking. It was so unlike Timur and Felwinter had never been so worried. It felt almost strange to remember how long he had spent not feeling any emotion at all. Not until he had met Timur.

Felwinter leaned over, placing a hand on Timur's cheek and turning his head to face Felwinter. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Timur met his gaze, briefly, and then closed his eyes, tilting his head into Felwinter's hand. He said nothing, but he had at least acknowledged Felwinter's presence, and he seemed to be taking some comfort in it. It was enough for the moment.

Felwinter leaned back, returning to his practice, manipulating the SIVA in his hand to reshape it. He placed his other hand, against his shoulder, attempting to command the SIVA to detach from him. That was where it always hit a hitch. It remained attached to his body, quietly refusing his instructions. It left him concerned that Rasputin was allowing SIVA to humor him, but what lived in Felwinter was still entirely under the Warmind's control.

 _[ Maybe we should talk to the Bray, ]_ Felspring suggested.

 _Not yet,_ Felwinter replied. _Not unless there's no other option._

Timur shifted again, seeming almost startled when his Ghost appeared. Coyote tucked himself into Timur's blanket, on his shoulder.

"Some of the SIVA in his ribs is getting fidgety," Coyote said. "Can you put it back to sleep?"

Felwinter pushed what was in his own body back into its normal state and leaned over, tugging down the blanket slightly to place a hand on Timur's ribs. He closed his eyes, focusing, feeling for the SIVA inside Timur. Most of it was still dormant, but Coyote was right, some had started to try and wake up and it was irritating Timur's nerves, causing probably more pain than he was showing.

Felwinter instructed it to go dormant and wait for further directive. He suspected that wasn't going to keep working. SIVA was flawed in that it was constantly hungry. Eventually it would stop listening to him.

But for the moment, Timur relaxed with a slight sigh. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, tucking his face down into the blanket next to his Ghost. Felwinter sat back, returning to his practice.

* * *

Timur woke up, slowly, immediately greeted by a dull aching pain he now found familiar.

He didn't move for a moment, disappointed as he found himself again in his room at the observatory. How long must he suffer in this dream? It felt as though it had been days, but he had no way of knowing. Not that it mattered. They were usually short lived fantasies, given to him by his own desperation and flagging hope. This one was detailed.

He stared at the sleeping figure next to him. _Unfairly detailed,_ he thought. He might think every plane and plate, every rivet, every scratch in the paint was far too much detail for his mind to recall, but he knew he had spent endless hours memorizing every inch of Felwinter. It didn't surprise him at all that he was rendered so perfectly in this nightmare.

At the moment, he was relaxed. It was a rare way to see him. Timur shifted a hand over, touching Felwinter's face gently. He half expected to find the exo cold and unresponsive, but he could feel warm machinery whirring under his fingers. He was overheating himself slightly, a habit he had picked up to keep Timur warm when they slept together. Felwinter didn't wake at the touch, but he shifted slightly.

Timur moved back and rolled over, sitting up. He stood, carefully. His legs shook, threatening to give out, but he braced himself on the wall, slowly making his way across the room. He passed things he remembered, books he had read a hundred times over, the old piano he had stolen from an abandoned home in the European Dead Zone, a portable telescope he used to take to observe the Traveler next to a stack of sketchbooks full of drawings of the patterns on the great machine.

 _Everything's dusty_ , he thought, and that seemed strange. A dream taunting him with a reality he couldn't experience, and yet it seemed as though he hadn't been here for years.

He found his way into the bathroom attached to his quarters and looked into the mirror over the sink, wiping off a layer of dust. Timur startled backward, a twisted noise of alarm choking out of his throat. He moved back forward, staring at himself. His hair had overgrown, reverting to its natural dark color at the roots as his Ghost couldn't change it, and he looked exhausted, but beyond that he hardly recognized himself.

SIVA had woven itself around his neck, piercing into his jugular, veins of it fractaled up his cheek under his skin, reaching the bottom of his left eye, bleeding corruption into the sclera. On the right side of his face it had crawled out of his mouth, fusing to his skin as it reached up to his temple, before piercing back inside through his skull. He could feel it in his mouth and when he opened it, he could see tendrils of SIVA trying to hold his jaws together. It all pulsed with dim red, a wretched heartbeat through mechanical sinew.

He shuddered, turning away. In none of his nightmares had he _seen_ what SIVA had done to him.

_[ It's real. ]_

It wasn't real. It _couldn't_ be real. Felwinter was _dead_. Timur had _watched_ him die. It had been a while since he had lost track of his reality in that tomb, but he was pretty sure Felwinter hadn't gotten up and walked out. Coyote had never tried to convince him it was real, he had always been the voice that reminded Timur he was hallucinating. That he had changed sides now only indicated the nightmares were becoming more intricate. Or perhaps that SIVA had reached his Ghost without him realizing it.

And if it _was_ real? If Felwinter had somehow survived and come back for him? He didn't think he could stomach the thought of living with this. He could feel it, still chewing at his insides. SIVA had infected nearly every part of him and it wouldn't stop until it had all of him. If he was alive, but he was dying, risking infection of everything and everyone around him, what was the point? It would just make it hurt worse when he eventually succumbed to SIVA. He would rather it be a nightmare. At least he wouldn't be disappointing anyone that way.

_[ You aren't disappointing us, we're worried about you. ]_

Timur ignored the voice pretending to be his Ghost and went back into his room. If he acknowledged the phantoms, they only got worse. Instead, he decided to take advantage of the pain being manageable and see how far this nightmare stretched. He paused at the door and looked back at Felwinter. If this was real, he would be surprised at how soundly Felwinter was sleeping. Briefly, he longed to go back over and worm his way into Felwinter's arms and pretend this was real even if for a moment.

Timur swallowed against a tightened throat and left the room. No use indulging. Felwinter was dead and he was alive, trapped in a prison of his own making, simply because he was too stubborn to give up. Or too arrogant, still convinced he would gain full control over SIVA one of these days.

He shook himself and set to exploring. What he did best. As he walked, slowly, bracing himself on the wall, his steps became more confident, SIVA slightly loosening its grip on his joints. He made his way to the throne room, pausing to look at the throne, his mind flickering back to the first time he had been here. Felwinter had sat in that throne, justifiably angry at Timur for inadvertently leading the Iron Lords to his doorstep. He had never gotten rid of the throne, no matter how many times Radegast had asked.

He moved on, going outside, immediately surprised by the cold. He hadn't expected to feel it in a dream. Quickly, his outfit was changed to warmer armor.

_[ It's almost like this is real and that's why you're cold. ]_

Timur ignored the voice and the sarcasm held within it. It was a good impersonation of Coyote, which only served to make him sad. He walked slowly across the grounds of the observatory toward the bridge. Vostok was empty. Strange. If Felwinter was alive in this nightmare, where was everyone else?

A few of the wolves looked at him curiously as he made his way to the Temple, struggling a bit with the stairs. He walked inside, a little impressed with how extensive this vision was. Every detail was perfect.

Timur halted as he stepped into the main hall, eyes wide as he stared up at eight statues, lit by braziers. This wasn't right. This shouldn't be here. What _was_ this? He grabbed his head and closed his eyes, sinking to his knees as he waited for the nightmare to dissolve and leave him back at Site 6. It was falling apart, it had to be, that was the only explanation for such a sight.

Someone called his name and it didn't sound like his Ghost, or Felwinter. Footsteps echoed in the chamber and gentle hands touched him.

"Timur? Are you all right?" a voice asked. Familiar. How? "Go get Felwinter."

Footsteps left, running outside.

"Look at me, Timur, it's okay." A hand turned his face up and he opened his eyes reflexively, focusing on a familiar face. One he hadn't seen in so long.

 _Efrideet?_ But she looked different. Her hair was longer, her armor had changed. His gaze slid away from her to the statues behind her. None of this was right.

Timur pulled away from her, curling into himself. It wasn't real. It _couldn't_ be real. Efrideet spoke again and Coyote's voice responded and Timur didn't understand their words, too quiet under the noise of SIVA. **_CONSUME ENHANCE REPLICATE CONSUME ENHANCE REPLICATE CONSUME—_**

Something quieted it, a crystal clear tone ringing in his head like someone had struck a tuning fork. Someone gently pulled him up, into their arms. Timur listened to the quiet, steady thrum of a power core, not a heartbeat, beneath his ear. Felwinter held him close, sitting on the floor of the Temple with Timur half in his lap, and said nothing.

It couldn't be real and Timur was terrified that it was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all realize this story doesn't have a plot and i refuse to give it one

Some days were better than others.

Most days, Timur seemed present. He refused to leave Felwinter's side as much as Felwinter was hesitant to let him out of his sight. Saladin had closed Vostok to visiting Guardians, not sending word to the Vanguard about Timur as they had with Felwinter. They had questions, but, as usual, they left the Iron Lords to their own business and didn't press.

Felwinter was grateful for that. He didn't think Timur particularly wanted attention as he was. Felwinter had caught him a few times over the past week, carefully studying the SIVA in his flesh with a look of vague disgust on his face.

Though, that look was gone at the moment. He was curled up against Felwinter's side, dozing as Felwinter manipulated the SIVA in his spine, trying to gently pull it out of the vertebrae. There was no way to take it out without cutting into him, so Felwinter, curious, directed it to devour itself. As the nanites rushed to follow his directive, Timur convulsed, shouting in startled pain.

Felwinter rushed to undo the damage, quieting SIVA again. Timur clung to the front of Felwinter's robes, shaking as the pain subsided.

"Sorry," Felwinter murmured.

"Mm," Timur replied, the closest to a word Felwinter had gotten out of him over the past weeks. Coyote had informed Felwinter that Timur had convinced himself this was all an elaborate hallucination that he had been trying to ignore. He seemed more amenable to the idea it was real now, but he still remained silent.

Felwinter suspected he knew why. Even though he had pinned the blame for SIVA on Timur in his dream, he knew it was his fault. Timur may have discovered the first mention of it, but SIVA was a trap laid for Felwinter. He was the one who had failed to convince Rasputin to spare them. It was his trap that had tortured Timur since. He could hardly blame Timur for wanting little to do with him.

Timur relaxed again, exhaling, and Felwinter wondered if there were any way to make it up to him. He doubted it, but perhaps he could try. When Timur was still mostly unresponsive, Efrideet had suggested trying to remind him of the old days. Felwinter had thought that pointless, but maybe she was right. He could never make right what had happened, but he could try to at least make Timur's present reality a little happier.

Which then raised the question of where to start. He had never been good at keeping up with Timur's emotions or trying to raise his spirits during previous periods of melancholy. His attempts had usually worked, unintentionally, as Timur had found his methods amusing enough to draw him out of whatever mood he found himself in. In the worst cases, Felwinter had considered forcing a hard reset by kicking Timur off the mountain, but Felspring had quickly informed him humans don't work like that.

Timur made a soft noise, curling up a little tighter, not in pain but seeking comfort, his fingers digging into the fur of Felwinter's mantle. Felwinter decided, whatever his attempts, they could wait, and he shifted, holding Timur more securely in his arms.

* * *

The City had changed. A mild way of putting it. Felwinter had a flawless memory, and yet he found himself completely lost.

"I suppose they were bound to change some things when they rebuilt," Felspring said, hovering near his side and looking around, lost as he was.

"Mm," Felwinter replied. It was early enough that the City was just beginning to awaken. The few people out and about at this hour gave him curious looks, but he suspected it was more due to the fact that he was a Guardian, not because they recognized him. Human longevity being what it was, there were certainly people old enough to remember the Iron Lords, but Felwinter had never spent much time in the Last City.

"There's also always a chance they didn't survive the Red War," Felspring pointed out.

"True. Perhaps we should ask someone."

Felspring hummed. "Ah!" she said, zipping over to a woman who had stepped outside, opening her shop. "Excuse me!"

She turned, seeming a bit startled to see a Ghost. "Oh, hello there," she said, looking behind Felspring as Felwinter approached.

"We're looking for a cafe, used to be around here. Run by a person by the name of Ivory?" Felspring asked.

She nodded. "They moved after the Red War, but you're close. Next block over," she said, gesturing to the west.

"Thank you," Felspring said, going back to Felwinter's side as he headed in the direction the woman had indicated.

She had changed, too, Felwinter thought. Felspring had always been shy. Cautious. She had been the first to teach him how dangerous the world was, not to trust anyone. It was only after they met Timur and then the rest of the Iron Lords that she had started to come out of her shell, metaphorically. And now she was talking to strangers.

He decided not to say anything about it and started looking around for a cafe as they rounded the block. He had never much paid attention to the place, despite the number of times Timur had brought him here. Any time they were in the City, Timur would make a stop, claiming it was the best coffee in the city. Felwinter, not being someone who could taste, couldn't confirm that claim.

The only cafe on the street was called Traveler's Rest. It was open and a few people turned to look at Felwinter as he entered, briefly curious before returning to their business. In this part of the City, he suspected Guardians weren't common, but not so rare as to be an abnormality.

He recognized the person at the counter, at the moment preparing a drink for someone else. As they handed it off and looked up, he saw their eyes widen slightly as they recognized him as well.

"Lord Felwinter," Ivory greeted. "I heard the rumors—everyone has—but I wasn't sure… Well, it's good to have you back."

"Thank you," Felwinter said, aware of the renewed interest in him by the other patrons.

"Can I get something for you? I'll be honest, I never took you as the food and drink type of exo."

"I'm not. Do you remember Lord Timur?"

They laughed. "Are you kidding? He's still on my wall of best customers. He kept the lights on in this place," they said, gesturing to a wall behind the counter, littered with pictures of people and Guardians. Timur's picture was in the center, smiling like Felwinter hadn't seen in a while.

"Glad that survived the Cabal," Ivory said, somewhat sadly. They shook their head. "Anyway, what about him?"

Felwinter looked up, scanning the menu behind them. "Do you remember what he used to order? I never paid it much attention." Nothing on the board was ringing a bell.

They thought for a moment. "Golden Age, I think, biggest size we had with extra espresso, because what that man needed was more caffeine."

Felwinter huffed, lights flickering in his cheeks. "Then I'll take one. If you don't mind, could you show me how to make it?"

Ivory looked at him curiously. "Sure," they said, beckoning him around to the other side of the counter. "Feeling nostalgic?" they asked, grabbing a cup. "Can't say I blame you… it was horrible, what happened," they said quietly. "They didn't… really tell us. You all just… vanished, one day. It only came out when the Young Wolf ended the second SIVA crisis."

"In their defense, the Iron Lords did not tell the Vanguard what we were doing," Felwinter said, watching what they did carefully. "It was our fight and our mistake."

They said nothing to that, just frowned slightly. "Every once in a while, we get a break from the end of the world. I've been up to Vostok. Pretty statues. I wonder why Saladin never wanted anyone up there, before." They shrugged, finishing off the drink with a sprinkle of cinnamon across the foamed milk. They fixed a lid on it and held it out for Felwinter. "Catch all that?"

He nodded, taking the cup. "Thank you. Felspring will transfer you your glimmer."

"Already done," Felspring said. "Plus extra."

Ivory smiled. "See ya around, Lord Felwinter," they said, as he left. He stepped outside and Felspring transmatted them back to Felwinter Peak, bouncing off the jumpship in orbit.

He landed in the snow in the courtyard, pausing a moment while Felspring located Timur. She pinged a spot inside the Temple and Felwinter went inside, hiding his surprise. Evidently Timur had gone for a walk after he'd left.

Felwinter passed the statues, ignoring them, heading deeper inside, wondering why Timur had come to this side of Vostok. He had been avoiding the Temple since he'd first seen the statues. He found him in the meeting hall, sitting at the table, looking at something in his hands.

Timur looked up as Felwinter entered. His gaze was fairly clear, still lacking that sparkle Felwinter had come to love, but he seemed to recognize him. It was a good day, then. He didn't smile and turned the photograph in his hands around as Felwinter approached.

It was old and faded, a picture of the nine of them together, happy. Felwinter remembered Skorri's Ghost taking the picture, the night before their assault on Site 6, when they had still been full of hope for the future.

"I got you something," Felwinter said, deciding not to address the photograph. He sat the coffee on the table and pushed it closer to Timur, almost like a peace offering.

Timur took it and took the lid off, closing his eyes to inhale. He put the picture back down on the table, over dust covered architectural drawings left here by Silimar. Very little in the room had been touched. Timur held the cup in both hands, seeming entirely content as he sipped. He stood, after a moment, walking over to Felwinter. His steps were uneven, slightly limping. He leaned against Felwinter and then took his hand, walking out of the room.

Timur led him back outside and sat down on the steps, overlooking Vostok. Felwinter sat down next to him and it was quiet for a moment. It was a fairly clear day, sunlight glittering on the snow that covered everything. Timur had been the one to teach Felwinter to appreciate the beauty in his mountain home, not just the solitude. The view was better from the peak, but Felwinter didn't think Timur would be able to make it up the cliffs in his state.

 _It's too quiet_ , Felwinter thought. Usually Timur was the one talking, usually enough that Felwinter had to tell him to be quiet. If Timur wasn't going to talk, perhaps Felwinter should.

"It was Rasputin," Felwinter said and immediately wondered why this was his chosen conversation topic. He didn't think he could walk it back, so he pressed on. "He brought Felspring back, using SIVA, and me, in turn. I hadn't told you, but I imagine you've been wondering."

Timur drank his coffee and didn't reply, but he was watching Felwinter, listening.

"I don't know _why_. Ana Bray… she's close to him. She said he's remorseful. That's why he brought Felspring back, to make it clear he wanted me to live my own life as a lightbearer. But I don't think that's true. He must want _something_. SIVA is in me, too. I worry what he may be able to do with it, though he hasn't done anything yet."

Timur's gaze went to Felwinter's arm, following the red lights. He had noticed. Of course he had noticed.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I don't know why I haven't said that yet," Felwinter said. He didn't look at Timur, focusing on his own hands. "You must blame me. Rasputin laid that trap for me and you were the one caught in it and now you're the one paying for it. The rest of us just died but you..." He faltered slightly, looking away, watching one of the wolves. "And even now, even with control over SIVA, I can't fix you. I can't make it stop hurting you."

He felt a warm weight against his side as Timur leaned into him, and then, unexpectedly, he heard a voice.

"That doesn't make sense."

Felwinter jerked his head back around, staring at Timur. He tugged him into a tight hug, eliciting a quiet noise of surprise from Timur and nearly spilling his drink.

"Ow," Timur mumbled, voice hoarse from disuse.

"Sorry," Felwinter said, letting him go. "I… was beginning to fear I might never be able to tell you to stop talking again."

Timur didn't smile, not exactly, but it was close. "I was the one who found SIVA," he murmured, pausing to clear his throat, "I was the one who led us there, and I was the one who trapped myself rather than die with you. I don't blame you for anything."

"I assumed—"

"I'm not angry with you," Timur interrupted. "I tried to make that clear. I just… I didn't want to give you any more reason to miss me when..."

"You're not dying again," Felwinter said firmly.

Timur sighed, resting his head against Felwinter's shoulder. "We both know I am. You can't hold it back forever, you said it yourself. Obviously Coyote can't fix it, or you would have killed me already. It's only a matter of time."

"I'll figure something out," Felwinter said. "Rasputin can control it. He made it take permanent form in my body, I can do the same to you."

"You're a machine," Timur replied quietly. "So is Felspring. SIVA was never meant for organic matter."

"You controlled it," Felwinter argued. "I've felt what you made it do. Could you do it again? Your will and my Warmind capabilities. Together, perhaps, we could..." He faltered as Timur sighed, closing his eyes.

"I'm tired, Fel, I'm sorry," Timur said. "I'm just… tired."


	7. Chapter 7

Timur exhaled, watching his breath crystallize in the air. At the movement of his jaw, pain shot through it and he stifled a grunt. It was enough of a noise that Felwinter looked at him. He stopped walking and pulled Timur close. At his touch, Timur felt the SIVA in him settle back down.

Each time Felwinter did this, it took less and less time for it to rear its head again, and each time it did it was more debilitating. Timur knew Felwinter was doing his best, he had nearly accidentally mangled his own arm trying to learn more intricate control of SIVA. Timur also knew it was in vain. He suspected Felwinter knew it as well, and was just in denial.

It would have been funny if the circumstances weren't so dire. In the old days, Timur would have been utterly fascinated by an exo in denial. When he had first met Felwinter, his emotions had been nonexistent. He still didn't know how they had begun to spring up, as Felwinter had been programmed by Rasputin not pulled from the mind of a human like other exo. Timur suspected it was intentional. He had originally been meant to study humanity, it made sense for him to be able to learn from them and adapt to better assimilate.

And now he had become so human that he was blatantly ignoring reality in order to preserve his own hope.

"Thanks," Timur murmured.

Felwinter didn't reply for a moment, running a thumb over the tendrils attached to Timur's temple. It refused to take solid shape in Timur's body, remaining in the incomplete form, still wanting to consume and replicate. Felwinter's eyes narrowed slightly, his running lights dim.

Timur leaned forward quickly, kissing Felwinter before he could move, smiling when lights flickered back up into Felwinter's cheeks. An exo smile.

Before Timur could say anything, Felwinter's head turned, helmet appearing around it as his lights snapped off. A moment later, Timur heard a fallen howl.

"I thought you said there weren't any fallen out here," he hissed as Felwinter gently pushed him down behind the rusted remains of some sort of vehicle.

"There usually aren't," Felwinter said, taking his shotgun off his back. "We closed the Peak, they must think it's abandoned and are trying to move back in. Stay here, I'll take care of them."

"I can handle myself—" Timur protested.

"Stay put," Felwinter said, firmly, before he stood up and disappeared around the vehicle.

Timur crossed his arms, irritated. He might be a little shaky, but he wasn't an invalid. He didn't have weapons, but he had his Light. He could be useful. He huffed a sigh, more despondent than annoyed.

_[ He's just being safe. You haven't used your Light yet, we have no idea what SIVA might do in response. ]_

"He's being a mother hen," Timur muttered. He shifted, peering around the vehicle to watch as Felwinter worked. He was handling himself well, the small scouting patrol of Eliksni hardly a challenge. Timur's help hadn't been needed, but that was hardly the point.

 _[ Behind! ]_ Coyote shouted in his head and Timur ducked, flipping around and shoving himself back against the vehicle. He had half a moment to process the fallen rearing back to strike him with its spear before instinct took over. His Light exploded out of him, something that felt similar to a trance, but it was wrong. The lightning that lanced toward the fallen was red. It knocked them back and down, Light turning to something more sinister, swarming over the fallen, devouring it and leaving a small bloom, tendrils of SIVA spreading across the ground.

Felwinter, reacting either to the sound of his Light or Timur's startled shout, came running back. He halted, not moving as he stared at what had once been an Eliksni. His hands were gripping his shotgun far too tightly. He moved, suddenly, jerkily, grabbing his head with one hand and then shaking it sharply, before launching a ball of void at the bloom and disintegrating it.

He turned and crouched, holstering his gun and pulling his helmet off.

"Are you all right?"

"I think… so," Timur said. He was alarmed, to say the least, but the pain hadn't gotten worse. He shook himself and focused on Felwinter, noticing that his fans were running, his mouth open slightly. He was overheating. The fight hadn't been _that_ strenuous, Timur thought, unless SIVA was taking a bigger toll on Felwinter than he was letting on.

As Felwinter helped him to his feet and told Felspring to call the jumpship, despite Timur's insistence that he could, in fact, walk back up the mountain, Timur thought about the way Felwinter had faltered.

Once they were back in the observatory, and Felwinter was fussing over him, checking to see if the SIVA in him had changed, Timur spoke.

"Can I ask you something?"

Felwinter made a quiet noise that Timur took for assent. His fingers ran down Timur's spine, most of his focus clearly on what he was doing.

"Why haven't you forgotten?"

"Forgotten what?"

"All of it. Site 6. The memory affects you, so why not just get rid of it? Exo can do that."

Felwinter's hands faltered and he was quiet for a long moment. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Timur's waist and resting his chin on Timur's shoulder. He could feel the warm thrum of Felwinter's power core behind him as he overheated himself slightly for Timur's comfort.

"Because you can't."

Timur tilted his head, looking sideways at Felwinter, surprised by that. "And after this catches up to me? Will you, then?"

"Do you want me to?"

Timur thought about it for a moment. "I do. Felspring will remember, and the others. They can tell you what happened, but there's no reason you need to carry that trauma." He shifted in Felwinter's arms so he could look at him properly. "Promise me."

Felwinter hesitated and then nodded, once. "If that's what you want."

Timur kissed him and then relaxed against him, hit by a strange wave of fatigue. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Felwinter said, resting his head against Timur's, until they were both startled by Coyote.

The Ghost appeared in a panic. "No, no, no," he hissed. "Timur?"

"Mm," Timur mumbled, feeling strangely unconcerned by his Ghost's distress.

"What's happening?" Felwinter demanded, voice sharp.

"His Light levels are dropping, rapidly," Coyote said. "I can't pull them back up, I don't know what's happening."

"That sounds bad," Timur murmured, stifling a yawn into his hand.

"It's SIVA," Felwinter said quietly. "I felt it too. I was worried, when I saw his Light earlier. It's found a way to get into it. Consume it."

His grip tightened slightly on Timur as he felt Timur shift, relaxing as he dropped out of consciousness. Felwinter's mind ran through several options before he settled on the one he was least prepared for. He looked at Coyote.

"Will he live?"

"Yes… but I can't revive him if he doesn't."

"I won't be gone long," Felwinter said. He laid Timur down on his side in bed and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders.

"Wait, where are you going?" Coyote asked, concerned. "What if something happens?"

"Contact me, if it does," Felwinter said, brushing Timur's hair back from his face and leaning down, lightly touching his face to Timur's. He stood up and stepped back, looking at the Ghost.

"I can't undo this, but I know someone who may be able to."

"You don't mean—"

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

* * *

"Ana Bray, this is Lord Felwinter, requesting coordinates for Rasputin's core."

_"I read you, Lord Felwinter, though you might understand why I'm wary to give you those coordinates."_

Felwinter shifted in the pilot's seat of his jumpship, fingers tapping impatiently on the controls. "I understand, but I assure you I mean him no harm. I wish to speak with him."

Ana didn't reply for a long moment, as Felwinter's ship came out of its jump into Mars' orbit. Eventually, a sigh came over the line.

 _"Coordinates sent to your ship. I'll meet you there,"_ she said, as the alert flashed onto the HUD. Felwinter input the coordinates, mapping it onto his display. He was sure he could have identified the core had he gotten close enough, but this was faster.

He saw Ana's transmat as his ship came to a hover over the landing platform outside the core entrance and she stood ready to meet him as he transmatted down. He left his weapons on the ship as a show of faith and had Felspring remove his helmet as he walked toward her.

"It's a bit of a trek," she said, "and there's Hive in the way, so I can just transmat us directly to him." She looked down at the tablet in her hand and tapped a few things in. "Okay, he's authorized it. Not surprised he wants to see you."

Ana hesitated before initiating the transmat.

"Why _are_ you here?" she asked. "I never expected to see you again."

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't necessary," Felwinter said. "And time is of the essence, so if you wouldn't mind..."

She exhaled, tapping the tablet again. A moment later, they both stood at the end of a narrow walkway before Rasputin. Those orange lights flickered and Felwinter could almost read them—surprise, wariness. There was a buzzing in Felwinter's head being this close, he could feel an echo of a connection, almost hear where else Rasputin was. Unconscious directives keeping watch while his conscious mind was occupied.

" _WELCOME, LORD FELWINTER."_

The voice was distorted, speaking Old Russian. Felwinter replied in kind, though he suspected Ana could speak it as well.

"You'll not garner favor with me by using my name," Felwinter said. "I don't have much time. I need you to teach me full control of SIVA."

" _WHY?_ " There was a slight hesitation to the question and Felwinter could hardly blame him. In the right hands, SIVA was dangerous, as Rasputin himself had proven.

"Timur and his Ghost survived your assault, and I suspect you _knew_ but we can discuss that when he isn't actively dying. I have done what I can but I cannot get SIVA to accept form in his body and nor can I remove it. As we speak, it is eating its way into his Light. Show me how to save him."

The Warmind didn't speak, lights flickering and scattering as he thought, weighing the risks of teaching Felwinter to control SIVA.

Felwinter looked away from the core, fists clenching slightly. "If you actually _care_ , if you actually hold some interest in my happiness and this isn't all a facade for something else, know that he is _everything_ to me and you are my last option."

" _COME, THEN._ "

The palm pad in front of Felwinter lit up, orange lights sparkling around it. He stepped forward and placed his hand on it, briefly considering that this might be a trap. It didn't matter. Instantly, his body seized up, mind connecting to Rasputin's. He was briefly overwhelmed by the amount of information before something in him switched. Latent Warmind programming took over, allowing him to properly sync with the speed at which Rasputin thought. He was shown a great multitude of things, the intricacies of how SIVA was built and how it worked.

It ended suddenly and he stepped back, a little unsteady. His Warmind programming receded again and the knowledge remained. He hesitated and then nodded.

"Thank you."


	8. Chapter 8

Timur was still as Felwinter worked, not unconscious and not awake, held in a twilight state by his Ghost, nerves dulled to minimize any pain as a result of what Felwinter was doing.

Felwinter focused on what he could feel inside Timur, falling back into his Warmind programming, allowing Rasputin's teachings to take over. His hands moved, manipulating, guiding, shaping. Gently, he pried SIVA's hold off Timur's nerves and organs, nudging it toward bone and muscle. He shifted it along its path, bypassing its urge to consume and replicate, encouraging it to enhance. The nanomachines settled after his touch, meshing into permanent structure, supporting and strengthening. What remained after Felwinter was done would make Timur more resilient.

He redirected his attention to the SIVA that had attached itself to Timur's skin. This, he removed, giving it new purpose in his own body where it quickly integrated and settled. Coyote hovered anxiously, unable to heal wounds where SIVA was removed, instead fussily directing Felwinter on how to properly dress a wound with the medical supplies Efrideet had given him. He worked slowly, taking time to follow Coyote's directions, trying not to get distracted by the warmth of Timur's skin under his fingers.

Timur had done that a lot—dragging his fingers across the various planes and curves of Felwinter's body, fascinated by everything he touched. Felwinter was beginning to understand the appeal.

He worked his way up, and reached for Timur's face and the infection that had cannibalized one side of it.

Coyote made a nervous noise. "Be careful! Those tendrils are attached to his brain where they ate through his skull there..."

Felwinter flashed the Ghost a glance. "I am being careful," he said.

"I know. I know. Sorry."

Felwinter inclined his head slightly. He understood why Coyote was worried. If Felwinter slipped up, he wouldn't be able to bring Timur back. Felwinter didn't intend on slipping up and he also didn't intend on leaving Timur mortal. He suspected getting SIVA out of his Light was going to be the most intangible and difficult part of this process, but he was going to attempt it all the same.

Timur shifted. The more progress Felwinter made, the more fidgety Timur got. It was reassuring, in a way. More familiar than his stillness over the past month. His face contorted slightly as Felwinter unthreaded strings of nanomachines from where they had buried themselves inside his skull. The slightest jostling of nerves caused his hands to clench, limbs jerking, muscles twitching.

Felwinter's hand stilled, his mind briefly flickering back to when he had found Timur. He had been puppeted, limbs moving in inhuman ways as SIVA manipulated nerves and muscle. His involuntary movements now had the same look to them. For a moment, Felwinter thought that he might be able to guide SIVA to do it again. His hand pulled back, concerned that the thought had entered his mind.

"Everything all right?" Coyote asked.

"Fine," Felwinter said, settling his mind and going back to work, making a concerted effort to try and avoid what nerves he could.

Another two hours passed before Timur's skin was unmarred by SIVA. Coyote decided they both needed a break and allowed Timur to fully wake up.

He sat up, looking curiously at the bandages on his forearms. "How's it going?" he asked.

"Well," Felwinter said. "Haven't you been paying attention?"

Timur smiled faintly. "You overestimate how much clarity Coyote is allowing me. I've just been watching your lights." He reached over and put a hand on Felwinter's face, a quick caress of his jaw.

Felwinter lit the glow in his cheeks, a smile under Timur's hand.

"Come on, let's go for a walk," Timur said, shifting over to drop his legs off the side of the bed. "First day in… well… a while, that every part of my body doesn't hurt. I want to stretch my legs."

Felwinter got up, helping Timur to his feet. Out of habit, he put an arm around his waist, trying to support his weight. Timur stood, steady, his footing more sure than it had been since Felwinter had pulled him out of Site 6. He didn't hold Felwinter's shoulder for support, just leaned against him slightly, seeming to enjoy Felwinter's arm around him as they walked out of the room.

A rush of light left Timur in warm robes before they stepped outside, his Ghost muttering something about forgetting he wasn't impervious to cold weather, to which Timur simply rolled his eyes.

As they walked, heading across the bridge toward the Temple, Felwinter watched Timur carefully for any sign of pain.

"It's strange seeing it so quiet," Timur said. "Is it always this empty? I… haven't been paying attention."

"We closed the Peak," Felwinter reminded him. He could hardly blame Timur for not keeping track of what was going on around him when what was going on inside him was far more dangerous. "To keep word about you getting out while you were still… precarious."

Timur huffed. Almost a laugh. "You don't think the Vanguard would take well to a SIVA monstrosity?"

"I wouldn't call you that."

"Neither would they, I expect. To my face, at least."

"Now that you're recovering, we could send word," Felwinter said. "Or take a trip to the City. It's changed quite a bit. The Traveler is awake."

Timur barked a startled laugh, staring at him. "The Traveler's what? Why are you just telling me this now?"

"I didn't think it was relevant."

"Not—?" He broke off and huffed a sigh. "Well, now we have to visit the City."

Before Felwinter could reply, they were interrupted by another voice from the top of the stairs.

"I thought I recognized that voice," Efrideet said as she came out of the temple. She beamed at Timur, trotting down to meet them. "You look better."

"I certainly feel better," Timur agreed, grunting slightly as Efrideet hugged him. "Ribs," he hissed. "Coyote can't fix that if you break them."

She let him go and backed up. "SIVA still got your Light, then?"

"Not for long, hopefully," Timur said.

Felwinter said nothing, still not entirely certain how he was going to get Timur's Light back if SIVA had consumed it.

"I'm sure our resident Warmind will have it back in no time," Efrideet said.

"Don't call me that," Felwinter said. For a moment, it felt familiar as Efrideet laughed. A feeling of nostalgia that almost made him forget about the empty Temple, the bodies left forgotten under the snow, the now symbiotic infection that lived inside himself and Timur. He almost expected to hear Skorri's voice or see Gheleon heading out on patrol.

"Where's Saladin?" Timur asked, and Felwinter wondered if his mind had gone to the same place.

"Iron Banner."

"Still?" Felwinter asked, surprised.

"Keeping Guardians from getting curious about what we're doing. They tend to forget he isn't the only Iron Lord left so if he's in the City they assume nothing's happening on Felwinter Peak," Efrideet said, shrugging. "It balances out a Guardian's natural urge to go places they're told not to go."

She looked away briefly, gaze unfocusing as her Ghost told her something.

"Actually, he should be back soon. Come on, I'll make some coffee."

Timur groaned, pulling away from Felwinter to follow her up the stairs back toward the Temple. "Traveler, I've missed coffee."

* * *

When Saladin returned to the Temple, he found the three other Iron Lords in the meeting room. Efrideet had been cleaning before she had stopped to make coffee, clearing away Silimar's old drawings, framing Skorri's photograph. At the moment, she sat at the table, feet on top of it, telling a story about some children she had seen in the City, playing out stories their parents had told them about the Iron Lords.

Across the table sat Felwinter, with Timur in his lap. A familiar sight, had it not been for the bandages on Timur's arms and neck, suggesting his Ghost could not heal him. He was leaning forward with Felwinter's hands on his back as the exo focused on something only he could see.

"Welcome back, how fares the Iron Banner?" Efrideet asked as Saladin walked in.

He shrugged, grabbing a seat at the table and a cup of coffee. "I think the Guardians will be happy to return to the Crucible." He looked at Timur and nodded. "It's good to see you back on your feet. Well… metaphorically."

Timur smiled. "It's… good to be back," he replied, hesitating slightly.

"Hm… You don't sound that pleased," Saladin said, smiling.

Timur shifted slightly, wincing, and Felwinter's lights flickered slightly as he murmured something.

"I'm glad to be out," Timur said. "I can't remember… much from Site 6 but what I do was..." he faltered and shrugged. He looked at the photograph now hanging on the wall. "It's a lot to realize, all at once."

Something in his tone had changed, a sort of distant loss, that made Felwinter stop what he was doing and lean forward, putting his arms around Timur's waist.

Timur smiled. "I'm okay. How's my Light looking?"

"Strange," Felwinter replied. "SIVA didn't consume it. I don't think it can figure out how. But it has pulled it from you and contained it."

"That's good then," Timur said. "Tell it to let it go."

"I tried," Felwinter said, leaning back again, putting his hand on Timur's back, focusing to find that place where SIVA had sequestered his Light.

"It's more complicated than it sounds," he said. "It hasn't consumed it, hasn't changed it, as far as I can tell, but it has… integrated with it. I'm not sure if that was SIVA's intent or your Light's."

"What do you mean?" Efrideet asked.

"You can't get it out," Timur guessed, and Felwinter nodded.

He shifted his hand, manipulating the nanomachines, trying one last time to get them to release Timur's Light. They were intertwined.

So, instead, he gave it a new directive: to do what Timur's Light told it to do.

Timur startled slightly and his Ghost appeared.

"That's… better," Coyote said. "I think." Light flashed and Timur was left healed, bandages removed. He clenched a fist and red arc sparked around it.

"Ah."

"Better than none at all," Felwinter said, leaning back in the chair, hit by the fatigue he had been ignoring.

"A hell of a lot better," Timur murmured, shifting to throw his legs over the arm, settling more comfortably against Felwinter. "What were you saying Efrideet? About that child pretending to be you who tried to throw their friend off a cliff?"

"It was more of a small hill, really..."

* * *

"Are you all right?"

Timur shifted, not replying for a moment. They were sitting at the edge of a grassy overhang, a place where Timur used to come to take notes and observations about the patterns on the Traveler. The City was below them, sprawling out underneath the still broken, but living Traveler, far enough away to be a quiet reminder of life. Of change.

Timur lowered his gaze from the Traveler so he could look at Felwinter. He smiled. "I told you I'd tell you if the pain comes back, you don't have to keep asking."

"Good, but that was not what I was asking," Felwinter said.

"I'm fine," Timur said. He leaned against Felwinter, a blatant attempt to distract him.

"You're lying."

Timur huffed. "How can you tell?"

"Your eyes," Felwinter said. "There's a look that you get when there's something wrong and you're not telling me. Your eyes don't… sparkle, like they used to."

"Oh," Timur said, smiling. "I'm sorry I'm not as beautiful to you as I used to be."

"That's not what I said."

"I know, I'm just teasing."

Felwinter nuzzled the side of his face. "You're always beautiful to me."

"Even half eaten by SIVA?" Timur asked.

"Even so."

"You're sweet," Timur said, kissing him.

"And you're distracting."

Timur laughed. "I try." He looked back up toward the Traveler, and sighed. "It's… I'm not sure how to phrase it. It's difficult to process, I guess."

"What is?"

"That this is it," Timur said, gesturing vaguely at the City. "That I'm alive. I know I should be pleased, but..." He looked down, away from Felwinter.

Felwinter said nothing, letting Timur try to sort his thoughts.

"It was easier, when I thought I was going to die," Timur said, eventually. He looked at Felwinter, gaze somewhat apologetic. "I didn't have to worry about what happened after. Now that I'm at least fairly certain SIVA isn't going to up and kill me, I…" he faltered, frustrated.

Felwinter looked at the City below them, suspecting that he knew what Timur meant. "It's strange," he said. "Existing in a world we weren't meant for."

"Exactly," Timur said softly. "We laid the foundations. Our purpose was to make this world safe so that all of this could happen. We served that purpose and then we disappeared. And now we're here and I don't know where I'm meant to fit. Neither does anyone else. You saw how the Vanguard reacted to me, I'm sure it's about how they reacted to you. They don't know what to do with Iron Lords anymore." He paused and then his eyes widened slightly. "I'm glad to be out of Site 6 of course, glad to be here with you, but..."

"I understand," Felwinter said.

"I was wondering," Timur said, "if Rasputin brought Felspring back… could you do the same for the others? The Ghosts we could find, at least. I suppose it wouldn't help us find our place, but at least we'd all be together."

"Maybe," Felwinter said. "I've been thinking about that as well. Ana Bray claimed that fixing the Ghost shell allowed the Light to return to it, but I find it hard to believe it's that simple, even with the Traveler awake."

"Worth a try, isn't it?"

"Of course. At the very least, if it doesn't work, we can give them a proper burial," Felwinter agreed. "But you're distracting yourself again."

"Can't slip anything past you, can I?" Timur asked, with a smile that was almost a grimace.

"If it's what you need, then let's do something distracting," Felwinter said. "As long as you know that I'm here."

Timur smiled. "I know," he said softly. He leaned against Felwinter and Felwinter put an arm around him, holding him close as they both looked up at the Traveler. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end? 
> 
> in order to have an ending, a story needs a plot. this was just comfort content for me, specifically, so thanks for indulging me


End file.
